Why is it so hard?

 Disclaimer: this blog post is really only about proclaiming words of praise to the Lord, there are tons of different ways to worship this is just one I wanted to address.


So I have been thinking lately about worship and why we do it, then the question came to my mind, why is it so awkward to worship God?


One of the first hings I thought of was... we tend to worship the Lord using words I wouldn't use on a daily basis  like mercy, king, goodness, provider, rock. I wouldn't use these because well honestly some of them are words from a different time like king for example but when I really thought about the word king it makes total sense to say it while praising God.

Websters dictionary online has the definition of King - a : a male monarch of a major territorial unit; especially : one whose position is hereditary and who rules for life b : a paramount chief

2.capitalized : god, christ

 

The territorial unit in this definition would be my heart, the Lord is the king of my heart and life.

 

 So then I started thinking about why is it weird for me to be around people and shout to the Lord who is worthy of all my praise something good about him. First of all I would be doing two things that are very against our culture, 1. being to use kind words exalting someone, 2. being to actually be loud in a public place.

Our culture is so against using kind words

When I watch t.v. I see a lot of violence and sex and foul language

Honestly the word good can be some what of an insult these days, often times people will tell a christian they are such a good person or live such a good life, not to be honoring of them but to say they are a goody two shoes who doesnt know a thing about the world and is naive.

Why on earth would I want to praise someone when the world I live in is so anti good and anti praise. 

Secondly why on earth would I want to be loud and expose myself around a bunch of people shouting to the Lord who we dont physically see right now.

I'll tell you, first of all its biblical - Psalm 100 says "Shout to the Lord all the earth!" This is David saying God is real and worth loving and the whole earth is going to recognize this and proclaim His name! Secondly, why on earth wouldnt I want to shout praises to the one who saved my life and delivered my from death and comforts me and protects me and has taken my place on the cross and brings me joy and provides for me and loves me more than any earthly woman can and who is my friend and counselor and who trusts me and forgives me and satisfies me.

I am tired of being around people who love the Lord with all their heart but because they have been raised in a world that tells you go for everything but Jesus and satisfy the lust of your flesh with money and things and women and power they stand in a place of worship and are spiritually lame. Jesus is the most freakin exciting thing to ever walk this earth and so when I am spending time telling him how much I love him it is impossible for me to be quiet and stand there in this place of reverence the church has created and to be ashamed to be loud because of what the world has taught us.

In so many churches it is "disrespectful" to praise God in a loud and open way, and you should always bow your head like your in trouble. I bow my head because honestly I'm not worthy to look into the face of God not because I'm in trouble and I should hold my head in shame but Jesus has come down in the form of man and created a surge of worship in our hearts to dance even more wildly than David did and look to the heavens and proclaim in authority that Jesus is King! 

There is a wonderful time and place to kneel before the Lord and to bow our hands and stand in silence and receive from God but if that is all we do we are missing so much! Worship is exciting because the one we are worshiping is exciting!

I want people to find out and experience a God who is so fun! thats right I said fun!

I was praying during worship a few weeks ago out loud and I just said loudly that "God you are so fun!" and people laughed, not because they were being mean and mocking me but because it was such a strange thing to say in church. I mean who yells out God you are so fun! Well I do because He is, the Lord is who gives me all my joy and is who created this world and who has designed things that are so good.

So I was just stating truth so I said it out loud a few times because we get so caught up in this reverence thing and honor deal of what our words need to be and sound like and we lose everything about why on earth we are worshiping in the first place.

I couldnt care less if your prayer doesnt sound pretty or the words you are saying to God dont sound like the normal church words, we worship from the depths of our hearts and so if you yell out truth about God then yell out the truth that is real and relevant to you!

I'm not saying that yelling all the time is what you should do, I'm merely saying there is so much joy in doing something that is not what the world wants or what Satan wants, proclaiming amongst a bunch of believers what you believe to be true about our God. 

Theres one last thing that came to my mind

When we do this we break strong holds of the enemy in our friends lives, our praise to God can be such an encouragement to the people around us. It can spur someone into something they have never experienced, all because we were faithful to Love our God in a different way.

Lets be a people who are not ashamed of what we look like or sound like and just love the Lord with all our hearts. I am terrible at this but I'm learning and trying to be faithful to the Lord and I've seen such a difference in my joy when I worship when I just dont worry about anything around me but the Lord, who my praise is for.

Daycare

So im working at a daycare and i love it.

The other day God spoke something so clear to me using one of my kids there.

One of the little boys i look after had been really disobedient all day so i kept having to take things from him and putting him in time outs and such.

Towards the end of the day i saw him take a ball out of a girls hand and he yelled "mine" at her, that was not ok with me and i was kind of fed up with it so i walked over to him and asked him to hand me the ball, which he did, and then i explained to him that he was not allowed to play with the ball for the rest of the afternoon because he was not able to share.

The boy just sat really stunned that i really wasn't going to let him play with the ball again but he said ok and kind of hung his head and sat down but i was very pleased that he didn't throw a fit so i thought we would be fine.

A little later someone threw a ball over the fence and I went to go get it. The boy was still sitting in the same place I had left him to my surprise, I guess he had no desire to do anything else but play with that ball.

So I got the ball from the other side of the fence and decided I was gonna throw it over kind of near the boy just to see what his reaction would be. He didn't know I was going to throw it over. I threw it about 5 feet away from him.

I watched his face as he watched the ball roll past him. He kind of looked up then looked around to see who was watching, I was very far away, then he waited for a few seconds. He moved towards the ball, stopped for a moment and looked down at his feet.

I could tell he was thinking what to do, the first thoughts in my head were, you can do it, dont get the ball, listen to what I had told you.

After a few moments the boy ran over to the ball and threw himself down on it. The first thoughts in my head were not anger, even though I had been frustrated all day with him, they were love. I knew he had thought about not taking that ball and I knew he probably knew the consequences of me catching him with it but I could tell he was really tempted and it was just really hard for him.

I walked over to him and asked him to hand me the ball, he did very obediently and I told him I loved him very much but he needed to be obedient and listen to his teachers when they tell him to do something. I talked to him for a moment and then I handed it back to him and he gave me a hug.

God spoke a lot to me about sin in this. This was really only a 5 minute deal but Jesus reminded me of all the times I sin. Every time I can just imagine Him saying to me "you can do it, fight it, trust Me, you dont need that, I love you, run away, turn to me! And then I turn my back on Him and mess things up because I dont listen. I really just got a picture of a God who really really loves us and cares for us. I was so full of love for this little boy who had been so annoying all day even when he grabbed the ball for the last time because I know he tried to listen and I know it was a struggle for him to resist what was in front of him.

Jesus always loves us and the enemy wants us to feel shame when we sin, Jesus looks past it and forgives us and washes us clean. I need to remember how the Lord spurs me on constantly to be righteous and pure and that he doesn't hate me when I mess up. Its because of that that I want to live a blameless life for him, not because of condemnation but for the love and life He brings to me.

Rockwood Fest

Uh tonight was the third annual Rockwood Fest

It was AMAZING!

I finally finished this song I've been writing for the last year that was inspired by a U2 concert I went to

Basically at the concert U2 and the whole crowd starting signing the song amazing grace. It was this huge time of worship basically and my heart was so full of joy but then towards the end my thoughts were... Does anyone here actually know what this song is about? And do these people know the Lord who has this amazing grace for us?

So I wrote this song from the perspective of a man who doesnt know the amazing grace of God and ends up digging through the world to find something close to it and ends up finding the Son...Jesus!

Anyway, the show went sooooo well, I really didnt care about sounding great for it and really didnt practice much because I really wanted to just jamb with my friends Chris Kosho and Josiah Bobbit. I really enjoyed just letting loose my voice and just belting out my heart.

I ran into someone who I havent seen in a really long time and it was really hard to talk to them and even be friendly... I didnt know how to but I really tried, I was just super awkward but man God brought me alot of peace about this relationship and just being around a ton of people and listening to great music really helped my heart alot.

Tomorrow is church and I am going to use alot of the tips my friends from Red Oak and Midland taught me last week on my vacation. Im really excited to see my church family and get to worship with them and just how everyone is doing, I only missed one Sunday last week but I feel like I've been away for a while.

I chose a really simple set... Blessed be You name, Psalm 106, Worthy, Yearn, and I will give You praise. My hope for tomorrow is to start out with just some good praise to our King and then have a little bit of time just to meditate on how awesome God is, so worthy of all our praise and then to just end in giving all glory to God cause man if we're not giving him glory then shoot whats the point of worshiping.

Oh last thing, my voice has been going out and my Hispanic Jewish friend Frank Rodriguez taught me a little trick that saved the day... A ginger tea with lime juice, I'm telling you it did wonders. My voice was so cleared up for the concert tonight, praise God.

It was a wonderful night and I cant wait to see what God has in store for this week.

Difference

So a good friend of mine was teaching me today about the difference between praise and worship.

I have never really thought about this concept and since im in a place of leading people in worshiping the Lord its an awesome topic.

So praise is pretty simple really...

Speaking my heart of thankfulness and recognition for what Jesus has done for me and who God is, basically saying your so great God, You are worth everything to me -Example of praise

Worship is more difficult I have discovered to explain.

So an example that comes to mind is when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were told to bow before King Nebuchadnezzar and they refused. Worship was an act that they would not perform outwardly and inwardly because if they bowed down before the king it was like their hearts belonged to the king. When we worship Jesus, we choose to give our lives to him, worship is everything we do for Jesus, its the way we live our lives. Now praise is a huge part of worship but there is something that happens in our hearts when we choose to actually worship it, there is a bond formed that is deep and strong.

It takes almost no time and energy to praise something, but it is important and is a bi product of worship sometimes. Now something that is common in church in America I have seen is people are eager to praise the Lord audibly because honestly its easy to do to say some words but to worship it takes sacrifice... something many Americas are not willing to do or actually people in general.

It is never easy to sacrifice anything that's why worship to the Lord is so pleasing to Him because we are literally saying God I choose to give up my time, my energy, my routine, my way of life to live for You and to praise You. The Lord loves it when we choose Him over other things because He is a jealous God and craves our attention.

Because He loves us soooo much He loves it when we choose to look past distraction and look to Him.

Worship is a time when we literally say "not me Lord but You"

Thinking about praise, it is easy to praise someone now a days and not even like them, I could give praise to someone who I have never met but I saw them do something great and maybe I dont even like them very much after all but I still choose to compliment them in a praising way. That is not worship because worship is over whelming and a lifestyle. Im not going to go to that person and start sacrificing my time, maybe finances, possibly give up things I love in this life (like my Xbox.... I gotta stop playing that stupid thing) for a person I am not captivated with. God wants us to only worship Him and He is right!

I am not going to worship any man on this earth because only my King Jesus deserves it, He has given me everlasting life and will never leave me or fail me. Why on earth would I choose to worship someone on this earth who I know will fail me.

I praise the Lord because He has made everything and honestly Hes the only thing that deserves praise, I worship Him because He is my life.

Taking a little break

So I'm taking a small break from writing about worship leading to share some cool revelation

I'm on a vacation around Texas right now to learn about worship leading and I have been reading in Mathew a lot. In chapter 10 it speaks about offering a greeting or blessings when you enter into someone's house who takes you in.

So I have been puting that into practice, praying and blessing the house and people of whom I have been staying with.

 So I'm leaving one of the houses and I ask the people if I can pray for them and they say yes, so I pray for them and then give hugs and kisses goodbye.

As I am walking down the stairs to go to my car I have a revelation about prayer.

I have been soooo excited to bless people who have been blessing me so much with lodging and food and I have a thought about the prayer I just gave.





Did I really mean that? Why did I just pray? I thought to myself.

I thought why do I pray? I thought a lot about tradition and being a christian. Ive been a follower of Jesus for a very long time and I think the reason why I pray sometimes is only out of tradition, it's what I should just do.

In that there is no power and I am not taking on the authority Jesus has said I have in believing what I am praying for, also I'm just doing things just to do them, not because I believe in them.

So my revelation is to intently pray, with all my heart, not just to fulfill a duty or something that is just expected like a prayer before the evening meal. In the blessing I ask for for someone, I mean it! I really want this family or person or home to be blessed!

I am going to keep praying from the depths of my soul and it's going to be real, not just words that come out of my mouth because I am a christian but because I believe what I pray God hears and responds to every time. I want to have a heart to pray even if I'm tired or annoyed or busy and i'll pray with the authority Jesus has bestowed upon me. Even for every meal, the thanks I give God is real because honestly we have NOTHING at all without Christ. I am actually incredibly thankful, so if I can pray out of thanks and mean it, why cant I speak and pray for healing and mean it or ask for a miracle and expect it or speak a blessing and trust that the Lord will bless whomever I speak the blessing over.

Beginnings

Starting out leading was so strange because I had been on a small college worship team before but had never really led myself, aside from a few nights of worship with a great friend of mine (Ian Boyd).
              
I do remember the first time I had ever led a worship setting was in an old youth group, I had been playing guitar for maybe 4 to 5 months and thought it was time

My gracious leader let me...

  Just between me and you it was like mana from heaven, literally there wasn't a dry eye in the room that night. My playing was unparalleled and people were just swept up in my incredible rhythm, dancing for the Lord...

Ok those are all lies, it was a catastrophe.

I couldn't play at all and I had no rhythm. My friend Stevo sang so incredibly loud to help me keep the rhythm of the song but all it did was mess me up even more. Im pretty sure the spirit was quenched that night...
 By consistently I mean just playing with people a few times a week, not just playing guitar myself so I have to worry about rhythm so other people can follow me well.

By the time I started playing for and with Ecclesia I had been playing guitar for about 7 years and let me tell you I do not claim at all to be a good guitarist but I can play and I am constantly learning and improving. I had to quickly learn how to play consistently with other people, which honestly I am still working on but I have greatly improved since this year has passed.

One of the sweetest moments with the Ecclesia worship team so far was when I went to a worship practice and not knowing yet the whole set for Sunday.

  So i'm sitting in my car and I hear God tell me to just spend that night writing a song with my friends Vince and Raimee (sorry if I spelled your name wrong). We wrote it pretty quickly actually, much to my surprise and it was because I wasn't very intent on it being MY song, I wanted all of us to contribute and so I needed everyone to give their part. In that I still had to direct the flow of the song and lead it into certain places of mood and tone and time since I had to be at work at 5 am and it was 9 o clock at night and I still needed some sleep.

Being able to play guitar and play with others off the fly is soooo important. Shane Bernard recently taught me the nashville number system which is a system of numbering chords in a certain key so that it is easier to communicate what you are about to play so I will be incorporating that into my worship practice settings soon.

Its my heart right now to put some dreams of mine on hold right now to pursue growing this church and remaining leading in worship for a long while. I often get complacent with leading because I work two other jobs to pay all my bills and I have little time to commit but what I keep reminding myself of is that I work those jobs so I can afford to do this one because this isn't really a job to me, its a lifestyle choice. After spending a few days with Shane Bernard and Bethany Dillon I have really reached a place where I am so excited to pour more time and effort into my own small abilities for myself as a leader and for the people that play with me that serve so faithfully. And also so I can lead well for a congregation that Loves Jesus and needs to know different ways to give their worship to the Lord.

1st year at Ecclesia

So its been my first full year at Ecclesia as the worship pastor. This has been such a huge blessing from the Lord since this was not what I was looking for or even really wanted at the time to be honest. When I was asked by the leader of the Chop at UT to get in contact with the pastor of Ecclesia to see about being their worship pastor I was like no way dude but I prayed about it and really heard God telling me to go for it! So here I am today a little over a year later and this start up church is starting grow. I've been writing my own music and using stuff from people I know who have really been writing some great songs for Jesus. I've learned a lot this last year about  how to lead a team of people on stage and a congregation at the same time. Ive had to improve on my musical abilities (which are limited haha) so that I can really help others and stay on the same page with them while we practice. The beginning of my blogs are going to different things that ive learned this year and then they will turn into what is going on currently in our church and in my life.